Sunday, February 8, 2009

MM 45 AND 31 SPECIAL EDITION

A special edition of MM honoring that scalely Old Ancient, The Gator!!  Happy Birthday Gator.  Where's Gator?  A picture of Gator's last Birthday Party, Can you find him.  And an added bonus, Duckie attended this party!!  Can you find him?

 

Gator's party

 

And for the Bonus Part of MM,  An old photo of The Gator in his youth, bet you did not know he was in a band at one time.  They were pretty successfull too.  Gator being the humble reptilian that his is, does not talk about it much. Looks like The Duck and The Gator go further back than most of us thought!!??

Gator, glad to have gotten to know you.  You have enriched many of our lives by becoming part of them.  Gator, we love ya!!!  Just gotta luv the Gator!!

Gator'sd Band
 
  

Saturday, February 7, 2009

UDDERLY FANTASTIC SUPPORT AND WARMTH NEW BRA DESIGN

 

I have to wonder if a lonely farmer invented these late during the 20 hour of dark seasons. 

An American, a Mr. Tamm invented a bovine boulder holder in the 1940s because his prize milking cows kept stepping on their teats. (Did you know that a milk cows udder can weigh over 100 pounds when full of milk?  Gives a whole new meaning to over endowed.)  His daughter still continues the business, her father's and her story is at the following link:

 http://livestockhealth.suite101.com/article.cfm/bras_for_cow_fill_the_need  

There is a french designer (go figure!) that has a line of bovine support bras (should that be singular?)  that includes lace lined bras (bra).                                                                                                                                                                        

IT'S UDDER-LY COLD OUT THERE

 BY Leon Watson; THE SUN UK On Line Edition; Feb. 4th 2009

HOLY cow! These farm animals are so cold they're wearing bovine BRAS to keep warm.

The nippy winter weather in Russia at the moment is so extreme farmers in Oimyakon have been forced to make their cows wear protection.

Local civic leader Rustam Krivoshapkin said: "All the cows in the village wear them.

"The bra protects them from getting their udders completely frozen up.

"They all seem to like it because it can't be nice to have such cold teats.

"They come in all sorts of different colours and they are all made of very warm thermal warm material, like fleeces," he added.

In the depths of winter, the temperature in Oimyakon often plunges to -64C.

FROM THE EARTH TIMES ON LINE

Moscow - Farmers in Russia's Far East have outfitted their heifers with special furry bras to protect their udders as temperatures hit 50 degrees below zero. Local residents in the Russian region of Yakutia say if they don't sew such mono-bras for the cows, their milking nipples may suffer frostbite in the drastic temperatures.  ( Frost Bitten nipples?  OUCH!!!  As opposed to gently bitten nipples?)

 

 

 

 

A sheer see through model for those warm days. . .

 

 

"The bras, or - in Yakutian - "sialdbas", are made from a triangle of thick fabric lined with rabbit fur. Three straps are sewn onto the bra, two of which are tied around the cows' waist and the third to the tail," one resident, Natalia Semyenova, was quoted by news agency Ria-Novosti as saying.

 

 

 
  

Friday, February 6, 2009

IF BULLSH*T SOUNDS POETIC, IS IT STILL BULLSH*T

Congress members to the left of me, congress members to the right, and all I can hear is the plopping sound of Bovine pasture patties hitting the marbled floors of government.

"Be thankful we are not getting all the government we are paying for." Will Rogers

For those of you who wish your voices to be heard, a link to the Senate, names, mail and email addresses, phone numbers.

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

 "This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."  Will Rogers

  And one for the House or Representatives:

http://www.house.gov/house/MemberWWW.shtml

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
-Mark Twain (Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar)

 
  

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

WOMEN WITH LARGE CHINS MORE UNFAITHFUL

WOMEN WITH LARGE CHINS ARE MORE LIKELY TO CHEAT

Women with larger chins are more likely to cheat on their partners, according to research

by Lucy Cockcroft  

THE TELEGRAPH.CO.UK Online Edition  Lifestyle/Health section

Psychologists have found that adult females who have prominent chins are more sexually active than those with softer features, yet are less attractive to men looking for a long-term partner.

Larger chins on women are often caused by a high level of the male growth hormone testosterone, present in all women in various amounts. (Well, that explains those East German Female weightlifters from the late 60s.)

The hormone also increases sexual assertiveness in a woman, a tendency more commonly attributed to males.

The researchers, from four universities across the US and Canada, took a group of young women and questioned them on their sexual histories and fantasies.  (Do you ever wonder if some of these researchers are just bored beyond belief, and happen to have a little grant money left over to spend on some of these scientific studies?)

These women were then rated by a group of men on their desirability as a life partner.

It was concluded that men will shun women with such masculine features when looking for a long-term partner because they fear being cuckolded. (This has nothing to do with raising chickens, my Dear Reader.)

Psychologists believe it is linked to their evolutionary desire to have a partner who will produce children for only one man.  (What about our evolutionary desire to have someone else spear the Mammoth, barbecue it, and get us a beer to two also!!)

Authors of the study, published in the journal Personality And Individual Differences, said: "The findings are important in demonstrating that perceptions of women as desirable and trustworthy long-term mates can be reliably gleaned by men from viewing only the women's facial features. (This study was done by men right?)

"Results suggest that information about women's sexual unrestrictedness, which is related to their risk of infidelity, can potentially be conveyed by the masculinity of women's faces."  (If your son ever says to you, I want a woman just like Dad, take his science books away!!)

The theory has many examples in the celebrity world.  (And then they only give two examples!!!???)

Actress Meg Ryan, 47, who has a strong chin, famously cheated on her husband Dennis Quaid with her co-star Russell Crowe.

However, the actress Joanne Woodward, who has a dainty jawline, was happily married for 50 years to Hollywood icon Paul Newman until his death in September. (She was married to PAUL NEWMAN!!!!  How could she not remain faithful!! No offense was meant to Mr. Quaid)

(Would Ms Zena - or maybe Mistress Zena would be better - be considered a large chinned manly women who is hormone induced to cheat?) 

Dr Lorne Campbell, a psychologist from Western Ontario University, who took part in the project, wrote: "It is difficult to conceal physical features, such as facial characteristics, that are partly governed by testosterone and reliably correlate with one's sexual history and attitudes.

The research is the first to our knowledge to suggest that a more masculine facial appearance in women might convey their sexual unrestrictedness and perhaps their long-term mate quality."  (This study mentions nothing about the way the women are dressed, or if the men were only showed face pictures, that would have a lot of bearing on the outcome.)   

Dr. Oh says: If this study is followed to a logical conclusion, "Manly Women" should be found to be more popular in the dating circuit,  and "Womenly Women" would be more popular as a feeling for commitment and marriage comes slowly to the male brain.  Over all, "Dr. Oh states. " Geeesss these guys are scientists/researchers who have spent way too much time in labs and on science research.  Get out of the Lab!!! Find a woman!!"

 
  

Monday, February 2, 2009

US SEAMEN ARE BEING TRAINED TO FEND OFF PIRATES

I am not sure what to make of this article.  Has no one who can make a decision studied history.  I was waiting for someone to say, it would not be fair to the pirates to defend your ship, they have had a hard life and are not really responsible for taking ships and killing or hurting people. 

The huge convoys of WWII that kept Britain and Russia supplied during the war were a mixture of Naval ships, merchant ships and armed merchant ships,  The same could be done on a smaller scale.  Merchant ships could be armed with light and heavy machine guns.  The Germans brought armed Merchant Raiders to a point of perfection in WWII.  These were heavily armed merchant ships, that would disquise themselves as variouis countries ships by building false superstructures and painting.  When the victim had been lured in close enough, siding would swing away, tarps would be pulled off, false walls would be collasped, and guns from light to heavy would appear. I say let some Trojan Horse, armed, but innocent looking Merchant ships ply the pirate infested areas, and blow them out of the water if they try to attack.

 Some pictures and information about one of the WWII German Merchant Raiders is inserted in the article.  The Bold Face I added, and the Italics are my added thoughts. . .

US SEAMEN ARE BEING TRAINED TO  FEND OFF PIRATES  (Are they really?)

Feb 2 02:37 PM US/Eastern
By CLARKE CANFIELD
Associated Press Writer

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) - With an alarming number of tankers and cargo ships getting hijacked on the high seas, the nation's maritime academies are offering more training to merchant seamen in how to fend off attacks from pirates armed not with cutlasses and flintlocks but automatic weapons and grenade launchers.

Colleges are teaching students to fishtail their vessels at high speed, drive off intruders with high-pressure water hoses and illuminate their decks with floodlights.

Anti-piracy training is not new. Nor are the techniques. But the lessons have taken on new urgency—and more courses are planned—because of the record number of attacks worldwide in 2008 by outlaws who seize ships and hold them for ransom.  (Have to laugh at that one, the techniques seem very new, no guns, no cannons, no firepower, just water hoses and bright lights. And then let the pirates know how you are going to respond.. . .)

At the California Maritime Academy in Vallejo, Calif., professor Donna Nincic teaches two courses on piracy. Students learn where the piracy hotspots are and how they have shifted over the years.

pinguin.jpg (35190 bytes)

GERMAN MERCHANT RAIDER PINGUIN

Pinguin2.jpg (26955 bytes)

KANDELFELS / PINGUIN


PINGUIN WAS A GERMAN MERCHANT RAIDER COMMANDED BY CAPTAIN KRUDER, SHE STARTED OUT LIFE AS HANSA LINES  KANDELFELS. SHE REEKED HAVOC IN THE INDIAN OCEAN AND SOUTH ATLANTIC. SHE SANK THIRTY-TWO VESSELS, IN A CRUISE LASTING ONLY ELEVEN MONTHS. SHE SANK SHAW SAVILL & ALBIONS 'MAIMOA' AND CAPTURED THE 'PELAGOS' ( FORMERLY THE WHITE STAR/SHAW SAVILL & ALBION ' ATHENIC' ) IN 1940 SHE LAID MINES ALONG THE VICTORIA COAST, AUSTRALIA ONE OF THE MINES SUNK THE AMERICAN VESSEL 'CITY OF RAYVILLE',  A BRITISH WARSHIP WAS ALSO MINED. SHE WAS EVENTUALLY SUNK BY H.M.S CORNWALL NEAR THE SEYCHELLES IN 1941. 340 OF THE PINGUIN CREW DIED ALONG WITH 200 PRISONERS THAT SHE WAS CARRYING. 60 ODD CREW MEMBERS AND 20 PRISONERS WERE PICKED UP FROM THE SEA BY CORNWALL ( SHELLS FROM  CORNWALL HAD HIT THE REMAINING MINES THAT PINGUIN HAD ONBOARD, WHICH ACCOUNTED FOR HER BLOWING UP ) THE BOTTOM PICTURE SHOWS PENGUIN DISGUISED AS THE GREEK MERCHANTMAN 'KASSOS'

"If I've done anything, I've shown them that this isn't a joke, it's not about parrots and eye patches and Blackbeard and all that," Nincic said. "It's very real and it's a problem without an easy solution."

Emily Rizzo, a student at the Massachusetts Maritime Academy in Buzzards Bay, Mass., worked aboard a 760-foot cargo ship last year as part of her training. As the vessel sailed the Malacca Straits in Southeast Asia, she served on "pirate watches," learned to use hoses and took part in drills with alarms indicating the ship had been boarded.  (I wonder what they yell over the loud speaker:  Watch out We are on Watch and have water hoses!!)

The training "brought to light just how serious it is," said Rizzo, a 22-year-old senior from Milwaukee. "The pirates can get on board these huge ships and they know what they're doing. It's not like the old days."

The International Maritime Bureau reported 293 piracy incidents in 2008, an increase of 11 percent from the year before. Forty-nine vessels were hijacked, and 889 crew members were taken hostage. Eleven were killed and 21 reported missing and presumed dead, according to the bureau.

Piracy hotspots have been identified off East Africa and in Southeast Asia, South America and the Caribbean.

Typically, small numbers of pirates—as few as two and up to 15 or 16—draw up alongside ships in motorized skiffs and use grappling hooks and rope ladders to clamber aboard. Some of the biggest ships might have no more than two dozen crew members.

Often the pirates are armed with knives and guns. Pirates off the coast of Somalia have taken to firing automatic weapons and rocket-propelled grenades.

In the old days, ships were armed with cannons to guard against pirates. But nowadays, crew members for the most part do not carry guns. And maritime instructors say that arming crews is not the answer.  (hmmm, WWI, and especially WWII saw merchant ships armed with light, heavy  machine guns and Deck Guns, sometimes some of the crew were trained in their operation, other times a Naval Detachment was on board to man the guns. These were for defence against air raids and  U-boats.)

It is illegal for crews to carry weapons in the territorial waters of many nations, and ship captains are wary of arming crew members for fear of mutinies, Nincic said. Also, some worry that arming crew members would only cause the violence to escalate.

Instead, the best defense is vigilance, Nincic tells students.

"If you demonstrate a culture of awareness, that you look like you know you're in pirate waters and are clearly standing watch, patrolling, etc., the pirates know you're going to be more difficult to board and are possibly going to wait for the next ship and board the one that's easier," she said.  (Such feely good, warm and fuzzy!! They know you are unarmed, do you really think looking like you know you are in pirate waters is going to stop armed pirates from boarding you if they want to!!)

The Maine Maritime Academy in Castine, Maine, is putting together a new anti-piracy course on nonlethal defense for ship crews, said Ralph Pundt, chairman of the school's marine transportation department.

The course would teach how crews can use observation techniques, lights, fire hoses and evasive action. The best way to combat pirates, Pundt said, it to keep them from boarding in the first place.  (So they can learn a lesson and improve the next hijack attempt.  What about sinking their boats?  Taking them, if they survive the sinking, to  trial.  Hmmm, does international maritime law still call for the hanging of Pirates)

Michael Durnan, a 42-year-old senior at Cal Maritime, was working on a tanker filled with soybean oil in 2001 when he confronted four pirates standing on the ship's stern in the Bay of Bengal off Bangladesh.

Durnan approached the men with a 2-by-4, but they threw some equipment overboard and then jumped over themselves, escaping into the darkness in small fishing boats.  (I can only hope he somehow knew the men were not armed.)

"They take everything and sell everything," he said. "Anything on a ship can be sold to somebody for something."